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The more ultimate guide to self-improvement (self.selfimprovement)

submitted 7 years ago by [deleted]

Hello, fellow redditors. My name is dontgoonreddit and I once submitted a post here called "the ultimate guide to self-improvement". Since then, I have found quite a lot of good new ideas to improve yourself so I'm going to make a new, and hopefully more helpful, submission. English is not my native language, so please excuse language mistakes.

What was the old post about?

The old post was actually way too long, but I'll try to make it as short as possible here: what most people on this subreddit lack are not ideas on what they could do to improve their lives, but some step between reading those ideas and actually implementing them in their lives. I have found out that it is very helpful to make a list of all those ideas and read it twice a day. This is very simple, but it is the necessary step between finding the information and actually using it.

And what are your new ideas?

The answer is simple: even more lists. First of all, I have now a much longer list. The old post featured a rather short list with long explanations for every point. I'll leave out the explanation to the list points in this post, but feel free to write a comment when you don't understand why I added a certain point to my list.

The second one is kind of similar, it is a table where every column stands for one day and every row stands for a certain activity you want to do or avoid doing (e.g. "having studied", "not having watched porn", "having read a book", "having practiced an instrument", "having talked to at least one stranger", ...). Every day, you just make an x in every cell of the table when you did the activity and you try to get as much xs as you can. Notice that I'm not talking about a calendar with different appointments for every day, but rather a list of suggestions of what productive activities you could spend your time with.

I know what you think, this stuff with the lists sounds too simple to make a difference in your life, but try it out for a few weeks and I promise you will feel huge improvements if you stick to the system I suggested.

Now here is my new list with ideas and stuff on how to live an awesome life, this time without the explanations, but much longer:

  • learn about whatever interests you
  • cold showers
  • pay attention to your body language
  • work out
  • minimize your daily use of electronic devices
  • meditation
  • spend time in nature
  • try to be helpful but take care not to be exploited
  • do not watch porn
  • limit your alcohol intake
  • pay attention to having a good posture
  • read
  • go to bed early and rise early
  • drink water
  • don't give a fuck
  • when you're reluctant to do something, count 1... 2... 3... and it gets a lot easier overcome your fear
  • use the table I described above (the one with the xs)
  • when a task takes one minute or less, do it immediately
  • try not to look at a computer screen at least one hour before you go to bed to improve your sleep
  • listen to music while doing tasks that don't require your full attention to make them more fun
  • use an app like Anki to learn and revise
  • never visit sites that give you an unlimited amount of entertainment (like YouTube, subreddits about entertainment, meme sites, ...). Seriously, quitting memes was almost as hard for me as quitting porn.
  • try to engage people in conversations
  • don't lick your lips, especially when it's cold or windy
  • try to talk to at least one stranger every day
  • look people in the eyes
  • never break eye contact with someone before they break it with you
  • watch movies/ series or read books in a foreign language
  • watch the news (without spending too much time on them)
  • greet people
  • smile
  • have positive thoughts
  • don't act needy towards women, men, or whatever you're attracted to... but especially not towards women
  • eat healthy and cook your own food
  • take some minutes every day to keep your home tidy
  • be proactive (= don't let your life be formed by the circumstances but by your own actions)
  • never over-consume anything
  • talk slowly, loudly and clearly
  • every day, take the time to think about what you like about yourself
  • prepare for possible failures, but be optimistic
  • be careful to trust girls that dye their hair
  • don't complain about shit
  • don't have big secrets in your life (things you wouldn't even tell your best friend or SO or whoever you trust a lot)
  • realize that "I don't have the time to do example activity" means "doing example activity has a very low priority for me", it helps you better understand other people and yourself
  • when you don't do an activity that would be good for you, go into yourself and think about whether you have valid reasons to hold you back or only made up excuses
  • don't lay down in your bed if it is unnecessary, it makes you lazy and depressed
  • have a big goal or purpose in your life you work for
  • (learn about psycho-cybernetics)

The last one is in brackets because I just discovered it two days ago and am not sure what to think of it. Some of it sounds logical, other parts sound like total bullshit backed up by anecdotal evidence... I'm going to make a new post in like a month when I have tried it out.

Some points of this list are very personal and won't apply to every individual who reads this. For example, I should talk more slowly, but there are also people that should rather try to talk a little faster.

I want to improve, but where should I start?

You can copy my list, but it would be better if you wrote your own. Remember to read it twice a day. You should also make the table I suggested.

Most importantly, start right now.

Edit: I would also be happy if you posted more good list points I could add.